When is it caution and when is it just flat-out crazy?

Ever since Amelia was diagnosed with her food allergies, I've tended to be hyper-cautious about cleaning the kitchen. I wield my Clorox wipes like a weapon and when we cook with stuff she's allergic to, I pretty much don a Hazmat suit and treat all surfaces as if someone has sprinkled anthrax on the counter tops. I even used to wash my hands before I'd put dishes in the dishwasher (which is so crazy I've forgotten my rationale). When we go out and she has a snack somewhere besides home, I am wiping surfaces, and wiping her hands, and re-wiping over and over. It gets to be a bit much, even for me, and everyone else thinks I'm nuts -- in-laws, godparents, even my husband, but I would rather err on the side of caution.

But lately I've started to relax a bit. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's fatigue from having a new baby, or that we've had a full year of preschool under our belts (with nary a reaction, yay!) or some other reason, but I am getting more laid-back. I even let Len bring eggs back in the house after a two-year ban, because I realized that there's really no good, logical, medical reason to keep any allergen out of the home, so long as we clean up well after cooking and eating it.

But it does make me wonder: am I relaxing in a good way -- learning how to allow a child some freedom? Or am I getting cocky and letting down my guard too much, just because we've had no allergic reactions since Amelia got her diagnosis? One allergist told a parent that "if you're not the most neurotic mother in the room, you're not doing a good enough job." How's that for alarming?

I'm still not planning on retiring my Clorox wipes, but if I can relax a bit it may be better for me, and for her, too. After all, she has to live in a world where the overwhelming majority of people will be eating food that she can't. If I can teach her to be cautious, not crazy, I know she'll do just fine. I just have to figure it out how to walk that fine line myself first.