Yin Meets Yang

Today Amelia had a playdate with her "friend" (as usual, I like air quotes here because at three-and-a-half, what does a friend really mean?) with Sophie, from preschool. Sophie is hilarious -- she is OBSESSED with food. She asks about her next meal when she's just finishing the one in front of her, and her mom has to remind her not to beg for snacks or ask "when is lunch?" over and over again. She's totally normal sized, adorable, not overweight or anything like that, but just loves loves loves food and thinks about it all the time. When Amelia and I were walking with her back from the park, Sophie was telling us how she is "hungry all of the time." Anyway, it cracked me up. Yin, may I introduce you to Yang?

In fun news, Amelia and I had a tea party together today. I am trying to do some "just the two girls" kinds of things so she feels special, and like there's something good about being the older sister, rather than just wondering why Baby John gets all the attention. Menu for tea party: water (in fancy tea pot), pretzels, rolled-up jelly sandwiches (Amelia had a bite, hooray), and Berry Berry Kix. (Note: I was so busy reading the ingredients to check for allergens for these that I didn't realize they have 8 grams of sugar per serving. Oops! Sweeeeeet, no wonder A is lovin' them.)

Thank you, Ellyn Satter

I love author Ellyn Satter, who has written many helpful books about feeding and children. She is (I believe?) a Registered Dietitian and Social Worker, and focuses on how much emotions come in to play with food and how the process of feeding their kids can really drive parents crazy.



I read CHILD OF MINE and HOW TO GET YOUR KID TO EAT: BUT NOT TOO MUCH when I was struggling to figure out how to be calm, cool and collected with Amelia around food. Satter's main thesis is that your job as a parent is to provide healthy, tasty food; set structured mealtimes and snacks; and leave your kid alone to figure things out. Your child's job is to decide what to eat (within the choices you have offered) and how much, if at all.

Dinner is Amelia's least-favorite meal these days. She's tired, crabby, and usually not hungry because she has a mid-afternoon snack. But at our appointment, our allergist Dr. Sicherer told us Amelia doesn't need her EO28 Splash drink anymore (it's a hypoallergenic drink for kids with food allergies who can't have milk/soy/etc.). He said Amelia has enough other food in her diet to have a balanced diet and can have calcium-fortified juices/rice drinks to cover any calcium issues. So today I tried offering a much smaller snack, and no rich, filling EO28 Splash. She came to the dinner table hungry, and ate all her turkey and raisins. She was still hungry after finishing those and after kind of sulking and complaining about her whole wheat bread and biscuit, wound up eating the biscuit (or at least some of it). Her dad and I stayed calm, and didn't jump up to get her something else to eat. Satter suggests that if a kid is hungry, they will eat and not to "short order cook" for them or you're in for a major battle every night.

Anyway, it may not sound like much, but seeing Amelia have at least some of her bread and biscuit was pretty satisfying, as was sending the message to her that we had faith she'd figure out how to feed herself without us hovering. I'm feeling really pleased, so thanks, Ms. Satter! Check her site out here: https://ellynsatter.com.

Allergy appointment (a.k.a. morning from hell)

Took Amelia to her annual allergy appointment today at Mount Sinai in NYC, along with baby John (who at under five months old, hasn't eaten a thing yet other than breastmilk). Amelia was fine until it came time for the various allergy tests. Her dad took her in (I was still in the other exam room with John, nursing) and Amelia started yelling during the SPT (skin prick tests) about how it "burned." At least the nurse was able to finish the test (which, btw, showed that Amelia is still allergic to milk, has about a 50/50 chance of having outgrown her soy allergy, is not allergic to sesame anymore (we think), is barely allergic to peanut (!!), and can safely eat chickpeas and lentils).

Sadly, we cannot confirm any of that that with blood tests, because the second the nurse pulled out the needle Amelia started screaming so loudly that I heard her from down on the other end of the floor of a major hospital. I guess she screamed, thrashed, fought and just freaked out so much no blood was drawn, so... . Sigh.

The upshot is Dr. Sicherer, our allergist, thinks we should do a soy challenge in his office, where we give her small amounts of soy over the course of a few hours and watch her carefully for any reactions. His office is super backed up so it will probably be a few months before we can do one, but that's about that for now.




I was really bummed about the Amelia'ss appointment, maybe more than I needed to be, frankly. We go there just once a year and the data from these tests is so helpful, and now we only have 1/2 of what we need to find out what kind of progress she may have made. That's the valid part, but the part I wouldn't admit as casually is that I am worried that Amelia is going through such a rough time. If she gets a minor cut or scrape she gets hysterical, and the sound of her screaming when she gets her hair washed would have people walking by our house think we were beating her. I wish I could figure out how to make this easier on her (and on us) and I'm fearing she'll always be this worked up about stuff she is scared of. Looking back on my own childhood, my biggest regret is that I let fear stop me from doing fun things -- kid stuff, like going on a roller coaster, or diving off a diving board in to a pool -- but things that make a childhood thrilling. For Amelia, I believe it's a combination of being three, being her (sometimes a sensitive kid), and the final whammy; having a new baby in the house. That perfect storm is creating a very cute, very small monster. Think Tasmanian Devil.






In better news, John's SPT to egg, soy and dairy were negative, which is a positive sign that (I think?) he may not struggle with the same food allergies as his sister, or if he does they will be less severe. Maybe he'll have a few (like, nuts, whatever) but hopefully he'll dodge the full list that she's dealing with. I'd know more but Amelia was still crying and upset during the final talk with Dr. Sicherer so I didn't get to ask some of the questions I meant to. Hey, I can always e-mail him, at least.

In "big picture" news I have two healthy children that I love very much and a great husband who really tried to help out today (even more than normal) when he saw how frazzled I was getting. (Did I mention John chose last night to wake up every two hours from bedtime to wake-up? Argh!) But for now, I'm a bit off my game and have to try to relax a bit, and let Amelia feel anxious if she needs to, even if it's hard for me to do that.

Applesauce Brownies recipe

Thanks to the Food Allergy News Cookbook, where I get 99% of my dessert and muffin recipes. They're easy to follow, taste great (for the most part) and are totally allergen-free. Amelia can eat wheat but there are plenty of wheat-free recipes, for anyone who can't do wheat or gluten. And even though Amelia is allergic to soy, she can safely have Fleischmann's unsalted stick margarine. That plus wheat makes cooking quite easy, so I count my blessings! The unsalted is the one with the green label. The red (original salted version) has dairy, so avoid it!



Applesauce Brownies
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 cup milk-free, soy-free margarine, softened
3 Tbsp. water, 3 Tbsp. oil, 2 tsp. baking powder; mixed together
1 cup applesauce
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 9-inch square pan (note: I used an 8X8 with no problems). Set aside. In a large bowl, combine sugar and margarine with the water, oil, and baking powder mixture. Stir well. Add applesauce and vanilla extract; blend well. Add flour, cocoa powder, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Mix well. Pour into prepared pan. Bake 35 minutes or until wooden toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely in pan on wire rack.

(These are more cake-y than fudgey, for all you brownie aficionados out there.)

Brownies, Take 2

Ta-da! Success! Brownies baked & brought over to Grandma & Grandpa for a Father's Day dessert. Amelia ate half of one and seemed to enjoy it. No complaints = success in my book. What do I expect? Lavish praise and thanks from a three-year-old? Nope! Happy to get the no-gag-and-spit-out-of-mouth-like-she's-been-fed-a-dead-rat seal of approval.

I'd share the recipe but I am loathe to go downstairs and wake two sleeping children. Stay tuned, though -- details coming soon.

Brownies, Take 1

Last week, we were invited to a BBQ thrown by the parents of one of the "friends" in Amelia's playgroup. The air quotes are because at three and 1/2, she's not quite sure what it means to be a friend. They all usually play near each other but not so much together. But I digress... .

Anyway, I knew there would be a ton of stuff Amelia was allergic to, which always stresses me out -- you know, "Will she touch someone else's plate?" "Will someone else touch her food?" But I figured I could bring some stuff she'd like and hope for the best. It's not like I'm willing to keep her in a plastic bubble just because she has food allergies, but I do wish I didn't get so anxious in the first place.

We brought her some basic, easy-to-pack foods for her dinner (bagel--> success, chicken--> bust, why do I bother with the stupid bird in the first place?, potato chips--> interested in them on her plate but didn't eat them). I also made a big deal out of bringing brownies (homemade, no eggs/dairy/nuts/sesame/soy/etc.) and popsicles (Edy's fruit bars) so that there'd be treats there she could have. Amelia was excited about those, so I thought I'd offer her a taste of the brownie before we hit the party, partially as a tasty treat but also in a pre-emptive "if she is going to gag and spit it out, better to get it out of the way pre-party" kind of maneuver.

All went well until I put the yummy chocolate-y brownie in her hand ... . As soon as she touched it she handed it back with a "no thanks." (Points for being polite!) Turns out a fresh-out-of-the-oven brownie that's still a bit warm is a no-no. This kid likes her food icy cold or room temp. Sigh. She did, however, have some popsicle at the party, and managed to have a good time.

We'll see how the next round of brownie-making goes, since she wants to make them for Father's Day. Often, Amelia enjoys the making and not the eating, so my job is not to push her to "try a bite" because a) that never works and b) it is super stressful for both of us and c) why do I care if she tries a bite or not?

Stay tuned, and I'll share the receipe, too. It is really good and super easy -- two things I like when it comes to baking.

Welcome!

Hi -- and welcome to Tales From the Peanut-Free Table.

I'm a parent to a super-duper allergic (as in no soy, tree nuts, peanuts, sesame, eggs, or dairy) kid. Plus we have to avoid stuff like seeds (what the hell does that even mean?) and introduce each new food carefully. Said kid also has reflux (fancy name: GERD). And she'd rather do just about anything than stop moving to sit down and eat (so she's petite, although, unlike in her earlier months, she's now growing just fine on the low end of the curve). I've also got a baby who is about to start eating something besides breast milk, and hopefully that feeding process will go a bit smoother the second time around.

I'll be writing about my experiences feeding them, which also includes my own nervousness and anxiety and my quest to combat it so as to avoid creating a crappy mealtime environment. I'll post anything I see that's interesting and relates to food, kids and food, or allergies. Do you have a kid who presents a challenge at the dinner table because of allergies, reflux, or just plain old pickiness? Glad you're here! I'll report on any fun foods she might actually try, and I'll also pass on any actual helpful tips I might have.